Marriage; Is It A Trap?

12.59 p.m., 11 August 2018, Saturday

Mood: Good 😊

 Today Mrs F taught us a poem called One Flesh (by Elizabeth Jennings). Now, this poem is about the calm fire of ageing love, where old couples (especially married ones) are no longer expressing their love to each other and are on the comfort level.

 I hate it when a partner has an affair especially after being bonded legally to the other half. It is so unfaithful and Mrs F (I could see she was holding herself from tearing up which I don't understand why would she even tell us this) told us that it was so unexpected that they would have such a sad ending, that they had loved each other so much but it was not strong enough to maintain it. I thought of a saying my mum spoke a few months ago, "Romantic men are mostly unfaithful". Yes, I'm being stereotypical but I find it true in many aspects. Romantic people tend to cherish the current moment more and most of the time failed to consider the consequences of their actions. Romanticism lasts a while and the excitement from it will wear off. I feel that is the case with Mrs F's parents. They fell in love at first sight and probably did everything romantic in one day instead of taking their time to build their relationship. She said they dated for 3 years. It's long enough but something must be missing throughout the years they have been together.

 I believe that staying in love and being faithful is the key to a strong relationship and that it makes the love stronger because no one can penetrate through the love barrier. It is the effort put into understanding and tolerate with one another that I feel is an expression of love. Some people don't have to express it through roses but they feel it and that is what makes a relationship lasts.

 Not to say I'm an expert in such things but I don't believe in lovey-dovey kind of relationships. I believe in the process which also actually makes one confirm their level of love to the other person. Sometimes, the longer you take time to confirm your feelings, it will be fruitful.

 I disagree when people say they are out of love and then divorced after they were married and even had 4 children. Aren't the children a source of love? If you have an affair because your wife or your counterpart has too strong a desire then you are being a sexual maniac. Moreover, you must be immature to think you cannot love a person anymore especially after you put in so much effort in the past to chase your love. Most married couples stayed married not because they still love each other, not because of society pressure, but because of the responsibilities they have. It is their responsibilities to take into account of their surrounding people whether they will be affected, in which a good example is children. You have a moral duty to bring up your children with both parents so that they will not be affected mentally. It will be better for them to receive love from both parents.

 Anyhow, it is not for me to condemn others' people thinking. I am just grateful divorce never happened in my family. For your information, my parents raised me well.

NOTE: This post is written months ago and has not been edited or proof-read so that it remains in its most original state.

DISCLAIMER: All these opinions are entirely my own and I have no wish or intention to offend anyone in any way. Of course, feel free to voice out your own opinion in the comment section. Peace. ✌